© 2007 AirSparrow Co. All rights reserved
That's enough about us ! LOL ...
Damn... now we have a whole page to fill. Hmmmmmm,
guess we'll just fill it with things that amuse us.
Full & new moons have a profound effect on our kids, we've added this moon phase thingy so we know ahead of time which days will be entirely free of anything resembling sleep or sanity. We sincerely hope we are the only ones who find this useful.
Gotta Love "Saving Grace" on TNT! Watch full episodes on the TNT website. This is the theme song video...turn up your speakers
If your child has sleep issues and you've gone 24+ hours without sleep on a fairly regular basis, you'll understand just how one day winds into the next...
Then people have the audacity to look at you like you have two heads when you ask "What day is it?"
Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting
"In the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you.
. . . He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
-- George Carlin Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997
You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. Jonathan Davis
There are three religious truths:
Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the Leader of the Christian Faith.
Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If a cow snorted when it laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice that when you put the two words
"The" and "IRS" together ~ it spells "THEIRS"?
The difference between Guts and Balls:
GUTS - is arrive home late after a night out drinking with the guys, being met by your wife who is holding a broom, and having the guts to ask "Are you still cleaning? ...Or are you flying somewhere?
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt...and having the balls to say "You're Next!"
I hope this clears up any confusion regarding the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome...since both ultimately result in death.
18 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds.'
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With the Prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation
9 As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party - Because You're not in the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, 'Rock Bottom.'
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'